To sum it up:












DINOSAURS.


















"HOLY SHIT, DID HE JUST SAY
DINOSAURS??"














I sure as hell did;











PRE-HISTORIC,
MOTHER-FUCKING
LIZARDS.










They are still alive, and they are vicious bastards. It may be difficult to take this in, so prepare yourself.
They've been waging an underground war on humanity since the Cretaceous period. Indeed, humans at one point lived with dinosaurs, battling them for supremacy. It wasn't a meteor, a volcano, or an ice age that killed the dinosaurs, it was us.
We killed them off to claim Earth as ours. We killed most of them, that is. T-Rex, their leader, managed to escape with a small group of survivors. All those gtyrannosaurush bones you've seen so far are just underlings of his we've killed. He's actually the size of a skyscraper. Wow, just thinking about that huge bastard makes my blood boil.

And so, for the past 160-million years, dinosaurs have been secretly corrupting our pure and gifted race with their vile deeds. The beasts have been brooding in underground caves, multiplying, evolving, and advancing in technological feats. They have created jet-packs, thermal goggles, laser guns, and special body armor, among countless other pestering devices. But most troubling of all, perhaps, is their ability to mimic human beings.
Now, calling themselves Dinos (gDIE-noh), their goal is to slowly kill off humans by destroying us from the inside... Literally.
They use the flesh of slain humans to disguise themselves as anyone and everyone. Their main objective is to infiltrate as many human organizations as possible, and once their numbers have reached an optimum level, strike at us with all the hatred and prejudice that has been churning inside them for 160-million years.

Not the greatest situation, I know.

Dinosaurs have been plaguing our society for years! Disguised as humans, their main objective is to infiltrate our ranks and spread their evil taint! Look closely next time you leave your house... Dinos are everywhere, trying to ruin our existence with their inconsiderate actions:
  • Douches
  • Lunatics
  • Reptiles (remember Adam and Eve?)
  • Drunkards
  • Those people who never go outside and use the Internet to write about things nobody cares about (Patrick Zac!?)
  • Slags
  • Rude servers at a restaurant or bar
  • Rude customers at a restaurant or bar
  • People who dress up on a warm day
  • That one guy
  • Cosplayers who use discount-store materials
  • Cosplayers (M-Ma-MAN FAYE!!!)
  • Vic Mignogna
  • The pretty one who said she liked you but she actually liked your car
  • Top level paladins
  • Heavy smokers outside the only entrance
  • People who spill drinks on your carpet after you told them to be careful
  • Couples who are in it only for the benefits
  • Authors who write a rehash of an age-old love story and throw vampires in to make it more successful
  • University students occupying a spot in your program as they slack off and get mediocre grades
  • Furries
  • Annoying Star Wars fan-boys (MAKE THEM STOP!)
  • Wars (but wars which are fought in space are acceptable)
  • That person who left a lit cigarette in the forest and started a forest fire
  • Those who hunt elves
  • Bratty kids
  • Idiots having bratty kids
  • The owner of a dollar-store selling items that are more than a dollar (I demand $1 purchases!)
  • The girl who dumped you over Billy Joe Bob, or Bob Billy Joe, or whatever the hell his dumb-fucking name was
  • People who invite you over to their house but when you get there they play games on their computer instead
  • Your boss
  • Your boss's boss
  • The boss of that guy
  • Donald Trump
  • The really bitchy one on America's Next Top Model
  • People who think of Sailor Moon or Pokemon when you mention anime
  • Slow drivers in the passing lane
  • Lazy-asses
  • Punks who use the mall food court and don't clean up after themselves
  • People who watch a good anime in the English dub and then say, "It was OK..."
  • The people controlling the video-game industry
  • Most lawyers
  • Many politicians
 As you can see, Dinos love getting on our nerves. All forms of disgusting humans are simply a Dino in disguise, trying to fuck us real humans up until we become too weak to fight back... That, or they are just having serious issues with fitting inside of the tiny frame of most people's bodies. Imagine how pissy you'd be if you had to live in what is basically a warm, wet, bag every day. Ew.

They just don't know how to behave as a real human should, and so they end up making our lives harder. Dinos can be linked to many oddities in our race. Hell, I personally have a suspicion that people with UNEXPLAINABLY HUGE NOSES are actually Dinos.

 

 

 

 



 

 

It just makes no sense for humans to behave as some of them do: brother killing brother in the name of money, country, or women; unnecessary hatreds toward the misunderstood, the less fortunate, and the weaker; the nonsense of rap, country, or hip-hop music! Think about it. These matters are so trifling and petty, that those who concern themselves with such meaningless activities can not be called real humans. They can only be classified as lizards with brains the size of damned pea.




UNACCEPTABLE.




Some people are Dinos and they don't even know it. One time, I was speaking with a man about our favorite foods. I told him, "My favorite meal is a steak dinner, followed by the refreshing bitterness of a lime," to which he responded, "Gross. Lately, I've been eating more and more humans... I wish I knew why!"
I quickly sliced his torso open and pried the little yipping Raptor out from his stomach, then executed it. I soon sewed the man together, helped him to his feet, and with an exchange of farewells, I sent him on his merry way. A Lime Ninja's work can be troubling, indeed. I don't recommend the layman attempt any of this. I know what I'm doing. I am a mother-fucking ninja, after all.
Some people join the Dinos by lure of coin, fame, or some other misguided idea of grandeur. These people are dealt with no differently than the Dinos themselves.
I have been slaying lizard-kin for a long time, and I know the difference between an ordinary human and a Dinosaur that thinks it's a human. Usually the efforts of an amateur Dino are quite amusing.

My fellow humans, it is the aforementioned that poses the greatest threat to us today. We have a need for those skilled in combat and vigilance. My organization is a group of combat specialists and ninjas who are keen on hunting Dinos and murdering them with incredible displays of violence.
However... it is important to remember that these matters must be entrusted to the guild's care. People killing people who they THINK are Dinos is not a key objective in this war. Not every yahoo can be a ninja.
These entries are my first step in creating awareness. The Lime Dojo has been losing members to the twisted wiles of T-Rex and his Dino legion. I would ask that you all consider the situation carefully.

I have made the call to vigilance! It is my assigned mission to gather more members for our cause. If you spot a Dino, or if you meet anyone who you think could be a Dino in disguise, DO NOT ENGAGE IT. For your own safety, report it to me so we can deal with it properly! Dinosaurs are a fucking katana magnet.



SEARCHINNNNN'

SEEK
AND
DESTROY!!





Will you ignore the call to glory?



Contact me at:

ertzu11@limedojo.com